Saturday, December 17, 2011

#52. Get down to my preferred weight

I've decided to actively tackle this one.  Since moving in with my husband, I've gained nearly 20 pounds.  I didn't even need to weigh myself to know this since hardly any of my pants fit anymore.  On weekends my husband gets to watch me groan and struggle to squeeze myself into my pants, and on the rare occasion I succeed, there's a nice muffin top hanging over the top of the pants.  So I decided NO MORE!  I'm not willing to buy bigger pants.  I'd rather lose the weight and be healthy.

I've struggled with an eating disorder for a major chunk of my life.  When I was 11, one of my gymnastics coaches informed me that I was getting heavy.  When I was 12, my mother commented that I was chubby.  A short time after that, I happened to be at the doctor's office and was informed by a nurse that I was 112 pounds.  The heaviest I had ever been.  I've always been thin, to the point where I'd get made fun of even before my ED started.  Needless to say, the "fat" comments from my mother and coach stung, but seeing the "112" on the scale absolutely freaked me out.

I struggled with my weight in the ensuring years, getting as low as 85 before my mother threatened to take me to the hospital.  The idea of a feeding tube being shoved down my nasal passage scared me enough that I brought my weight back up to 100 pounds and maintained it around there.

In February 2011 I moved in with my husband.  Cue the bad eating habits.  We pig out and snack constantly.  We both have trouble putting our pants on.  So we've jointly decided to lose weight and get in shape.  He's much better at physical activity than I am, so he's focusing on workouts.  I'm much better at controlling what I eat (obviously), so I'm focusing on dieting.  We're helping each other with the other's weak point.  I'm struggling to not fall back into my old disordered habits.  It's way too easy to go overboard and just never eat.

So far I've been doing well.  I joined My Fitness Pal and began recording my food intake and exercise.  I've started researching healthy foods and cutting out junk.  I haven't been weighed in awhile, so I'm not sure if I've lost anything, but I'll find out tomorrow when I buy a scale!  I'm going to keep the MFP weight loss ticker here on my blog so I can keep track, and hopefully soon make it down to my ideal weight!

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